On the Matter of a Mate

Excellent excerpt from the book, Ministering to Your Family (Chapter 1, © 1986), by Kenneth E. Hagin and Kenneth Hagin Jr. Reprinted by permission of Kenneth Hagin Ministries, Inc.


On the Matter of a Mate

In what areas can you exercise faith? What can you believe for?

First, you can believe for everything the Word of God promises you or provides for you. But you can’t believe beyond the Word. Why not? Because “…faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” (Romans 10:17). Faith is based on what God’s Word says, and you cannot believe beyond your knowledge of God’s Word. If people try to do this, they will get in trouble.

For example, years ago I met a denominational pastor who received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, spoke in tongues and was kicked out of his denomination.

With no church to pastor, he had gone into business for himself in a large city, and he started attending the largest Full Gospel church in that city. This man was unmarried and was probably between 35 and 40.

He told me that a beautiful woman sang in the church choir, and because “you can have what you say” and “whatever you desire, just pray and believe you receive,” he was going to pray and believe he was going to get her for a wife.

However, I can’t find where the Bible says, “I promise John that he can have Mary for a wife.” Mary may not want to be his wife—and John may be just as well off without her anyway!

So I asked the man, “Have you ever talked to this woman? Have you ever had a date with her?”

“No,” he replied.

Sitting out there in the congregation while the choir sang on Sunday mornings, this man had seen the woman, was attracted to her, and thought because “you can have what you say,” he could just say they would be married and it would come to pass.

But under what conditions will it come to pass?

“Well, if I believe it strongly enough,” some will argue.

No, faith must be based on God’s Word. As we have seen, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word. And the Word of God says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).

“Whoso findeth a wife” implies that you have a part to play, all right, but you must be open to the Lord’s direction, and you must realize that you cannot go against another person’s free will.

The Lord will lead and guide you. You have a right to claim His guidance because He has promised to guide you. But just to pick somebody out and say, “I’m going to believe God and she’s going to be my wife,” won’t work.

Another’s Will Is Involved

The woman you want to marry may not want to be your wife. That would work the other way around for women: The man you want to marry may not want be your husband.

Friends, you’re not going to be able to override another person’s will in the matter, so you may as well settle that once and for all.

God Himself does not exercise authority over human spirits. If He did, He’d make everybody in the world get saved today, and then we could enter into the Millennium.

We only have authority over evil spirits; not over human spirits. God has granted mankind free will to choose for themselves.

In the first meeting I held after leaving my last pastorate, an unmarried woman in her thirties asked me, “Brother Hagin, do I have the right to believe for a husband?”

“I believe you do,” I replied, “because the Bible says, ‘Whoso findeth a WIFE findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord’—and it would be a poor rule that wouldn’t work both ways.”

Will faith work here?

I told the young woman, “You can’t just pick out somebody and say, ‘That one’s mine.’ But you can ask God to lead you. You can claim a mate by faith and let God work out the details because you believe Him.”

Standing in Faith

For many months, it didn’t look like things were going to work for this young woman: No young man came into her life. Every time I saw her, I encouraged her to stand in faith. She would say, “I’m standing in faith. It’s going to work. I know it is!” She had certain ideals in mind. She said, “I’m not a minister myself, but I have been in the work of the Lord for many years, and I want to marry a minister.”

In the process of time, I saw her, and she had married a fine man—a minister. Her faith had worked.

I also remember two beautiful young women who attended a revival meeting I once conducted in Oklahoma. They had just graduated from high school with the highest grades in their class. Both were saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit in my meeting. Some months later, when I returned to that church for another meeting, the Lord led me to minister a word of wisdom to one of the girls.

Afterwards, the pastor said, “Brother Hagin, I’m so glad you did that. You didn’t know this, I’m sure, but that young woman is engaged to be married, and we’re concerned about it. The young man has attended church here, but I’ll just be honest with you—I’m sure he pretended he got saved so he could marry her.”

Something Better

I hadn’t known these details the night the Lord had me minister to the young woman. She was sitting on the front row that night. I asked the congregation to sing because I didn’t want everyone to hear what I told her. I said to her, “The Lord told me to tell you this: ‘I’ve got something better for you. Don’t marry right now. I’ve got something better for you.’”

Two years later I was out in California in a campmeeting when a fine-looking young couple came up to me. The woman said, “Brother Hagin, do you remember me?”

“No,” I said, “but your face looks familiar.”

She told me her name, but I still couldn’t remember who she was.

“Well,” she said, “you’ll remember this: You called me up while the congregation was singing and you told me the Lord said not to marry then because He had something better for me.”

“Oh,” I said. “I remember that.”

“Well,” she said happily, “here he is!”

Then, she told me she and her husband were in Bible college preparing for the ministry. “Oh, I’m so glad the Lord arrested me and ministered to me,” she said. “I would have made a fatal mistake. We’re so happy. And we’re working for God.”

God did have something better for her. God can lead and guide us. We need to be open to the leading of God.

You see, we can believe God and exercise faith for anything that is promised in the Bible. But we must base our faith upon what God’s Word says. If we get into areas beyond the Word, we will get into gray areas—into dark areas. As long as we’re in the Word, we’re in the light. Then we’re on safe ground—sure ground.

Some may say, “I don’t know just what direction to take in life, so what shall I believe for?”

Well, trust God for guidance, because He has promised to guide you. Claim His guidance by faith. Say, “The Lord is guiding me. He is leading me. I may not see it this moment. I may not even know what to do at the moment; but, He is my Guide and I trust Him.”

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God” (Romans 8:14). God will guide you. But remember that He leads you just one step at a time.

Reprinted from the book, Ministering to Your Family (Chapter 1, © 1986), by Kenneth E. Hagin and Kenneth Hagin Jr. Reprinted by permission of Kenneth Hagin Ministries, Inc.


Sing a Thanksgiving Song

Happy Thanksgiving, dear ones!  Celebrate by living a grateful life, stop and take note of the changing season, and love on those around you.  You never know who’s love tank is approaching “E”. Why don’t you get to them first before the warning light comes on ♥

Ten Things to Be Thankful For

10.  Life and freedom.  It’s a privilege, never take it for granted.

9.  My car.  Lord knows I loved my Sebring and all 160K of its miles, but when it’s time to change, it’s time to change.

8. Work experience.  Okay, this is random, I didn’t understand the process at the time but those previous jobs (although challenging at times) were moving me right along to my true purpose.  #Dietetics

7.  Nutritious food to eat and a nice, warm, safe place to call home.  This time of year when it’s cold and the weather is bad, my heart is on those who don’t have enough food or shelter.

6.  Grace, favor, and mercy.  It would have been a different story if these weren’t in my life.

5. Every gift that God has graced me with; even the small ones. My warm spirit and ability to make others smile and feel at ease; these gifts are straight from my Father.  I just have the joy of walking in them.

4. My friends.  You may be few and far between, but each of you has a special place in my life.  You probably don’t know how often you cross my mind, but you need to know that I think of you often and smile.

3. My family.  Whether  we are blood-related or not, you have enriched and supplemented my life to make it great. Thanks for the love.

2.  Social support.  Big dreamers like me sometimes (more often than not) need a boost of confidence and reassurance that our ideas are not crazy.  Thank you for understanding my vision.

1. My Heavenly Father.  He’s everything to me.  He’s heard my every thought, captured every tear, and continues to love me everyday.  Thank God for Jesus.

To the Precious, Single Jewels

Good morning, lovelies! Below is a great blog written by Bernadette Love to encourage you to not compromise during your season of singleness.  Remember, the Lord has your best interest at heart, He has not overlooked you.  Stay the course and keep smiling; enjoy your season before the next one arrives.  Much love and enjoy your day today.

Lamentations 3:25-26 (New International Version)

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

We all have an idea of that perfect relationship.   We know what we desire in our hearts and pray daily that these desires will come true.  The Word today is don’t compromise.  Set your sights on what you want and believe God for.  Too often loneliness and the fear of never being happily in love will cause us to lower our standards and settle for the first smiling face that comes along.  Our guts tell us that there is something missing, something not quite right…but here comes that still small voice saying, “Go for it, you might not get this chance again”. When this happens, when that small voice tells you to throw caution to the wind and get it before it’s gone, tell it to hush.

Stick to your guns.  If you desire to be with a person who loves the Lord like you do and then you meet someone who goes to church for Christmas and Easter, please don’t think that being with you is going to change that person.  They may have other attributes that you can live with but eventually you will have a problem because you compromised.  This is what the Bible means by being
unequally yoked with someone.  There are so many differences that can break relationships.  For instance – you believe in being healthy…they don’t; they are frugal…you like to shop; you love hanging out with family and friends…they can’t stand being around people; they have a servant spirit and like to help others…you, not so much.  These differences may seem minor in light of the fact that this person looks like everything you want, but be careful.

Take some time and prayerfully make a list of the attributes that are important to you.   Sure, everyone wants to wake up to Common or Halle, but let’s be real.  At the end of the day looks aren’t that important.  However, I honestly believe that when God sends that person that was designed just for you, you will be excited no matter what they look like.  But back to the list…there are some qualities that you know are important to you, qualities that you desire for your mate to have.  These qualities should not be ignored nor compromised…why?  Because I don’t believe that God would have us settle just to say that we have someone.  God is not the author of confusion and confusion is what you will have once you settle.

This single time in our lives is the perfect time to re-evaluate our values…where we are and where we want to go.  We must love ourselves enough that we only want what God wants for us!  Waiting for your best friend to find you is never easy.  We are an instant society.  We want what we want and we want it now!  For this reason, we often jump into stuff that we later wish we hadn’t.  It’s time to sit back and learn to love ourselves all over again.  Get excited about who you are in Christ.  Love up on yourself while you wait for your best friend.  Pour yourself into others and this will take the edge off the loneliness.  Don’t compromise your standards or your values.  If you have to lower your standards to be with a person, trust me, they are not God sent!

The holidays are right around the corner.  Don’t let the fear of spending another Christmas alone goad you into compromising your standards and values.  Take the focus off your loneliness and your desire to be with someone and watch God move!  He has your best friend waiting in the wings!

Blog reposted from: The Word for Women Network. “Don’t Compromise” by Bernadette Love.  Available at: http://www.thewordforwomen.com/singlewomen/asinglemoment/dontcompromise.html

Don’t Be Fooled

http://bible.com/97/1SA16.7.MSG But God told Samuel, “Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.”

Ladies, ladies, ladies. This post is a short and sweet nugget of wisdom just for you. This is a reminder for you to trust the Lord to manage your relationships. He’s your Father. He’s the Father of all fathers and like any good father, He protects His girls.

He can see further and deeper into the recesses of the hearts of those around you. Welcome His guidance. Silence from Him is not approval. Take that young man that you are interested in before the Lord in prayer. The Lord will give you clear feedback. He will not confuse you or contradict His Word.
Wolves may look fine in church suits; do not be fooled. Ask your Father. Let Him protect you.

Love you ladies!

Romance and the Meaning of Life

Many messages, both from secular society and from Christian circles, indicate that worth is based on having someone connected to you romantically. God’s truth is that He has created each person with value, with worth, and with purpose. Romance does not give this value, worth, and purpose. A “significant other” does not give these things. No earthly role can give true meaning to life. Only God gives true value, true worth, and true purpose.

In the workbook part of his book, Search for Significance, Robert S. McGee suggests memorizing the following sentence to remember when struggling with worth, purpose, and acceptance by others: “It would be nice if ________ (fill in the blank with whatever you are desiring: ‘so-and-so accepted and loved me’, ‘I could be married and have children’, ‘I were more outgoing and attractive’, ‘so-and-so did such-and-such to show me he/she loved me’, etc.), but if that doesn’t happen, I am still deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, and totally accepted by God through Christ.”

By Fern Horst

Singleness is not a punishment from God

Our Longings, God’s Fulfillment

Compiled by Fern Horst

We have many God-given longings that we’d like to have fulfilled. We often think that they can be fulfilled only by another human being. While God does use other humans to demonstrate love to us, He also wants to fulfill these longings with Himself. Consider these Words from Scripture as you identify your personal longings and God’s promise of fulfillment.

‘I want to be loved.’
Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. (Jer. 31:3)

‘I want to belong to someone.’
But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself. (Psalms 4:3)

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.(Isaiah 43:1)

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me. (Isaiah 49:15-16)

‘I want to be cherished.’
Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you. (Isaiah 43:4)

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. (Zephaniah 3:17)

‘I want someone to fulfill my heart’s desires.’
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. (Psalms 37:4)

‘I want someone who will always love me, no matter what.’
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39)

‘I want someone to be with me through the hard times of life, and to protect me.’
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. (Isaiah 43:2)

For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory Selah. (Psalms 32:7)

‘I want someone I can draw strength from.’
The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace. (Psalms 29:11)

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. (Psalms 31:24)

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:13)

‘I want someone to be with me when I am afraid.’
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

‘I want someone to comfort me.’
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed (Psalms 34:18)

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.(Psalms 147:3)

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. (John 14:18)

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

‘I want someone to help me with life’s burdens.’
Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. (Psalms 55:22)Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.(1 Peter 5:7)

‘I want someone to hold me.’
The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you. He drives out the enemy before you; he cries out, ‘Destroy them!’(Deuteronomy 33:27)

Sustain me, and I will be rescued; then I will meditate continually on your decrees. (Psalms 119:117)

‘I want someone to be with me.’
Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you.  (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.  (Joshua 1:9)

‘I want to be around someone who loves me.’
Moses said this about the tribe of Benjamin: “The people of Benjamin are loved by the Lord and live in safety beside him. He surrounds them continuously and preserves them from every harm.” (Deuteronomy 33:12)

‘I want someone to make me happy.’
For the joy of the LORD is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

‘I want someone to protect me from those who would harm me.’
Draw me out of the net that they have laid secretly for me, for You are my Strength and my Stronghold.(Psalms 31:4)

You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues. (Psalms 31:20)

‘I want someone to shower me with nice gifts.’
Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?(Romans 8:32)

‘I want someone who inspires me.’
Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come. (Jeremiah 33:3)

‘I want someone who is always consistent.’
This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. (Hebrews 6:19)

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. (Hebrews 13:8)

‘I want someone who will pray for me.’
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. (Romans 8:26-27)

‘I want to be able to call someone when I’m in trouble.’
The LORD will hear when I call unto him. (Psalms 4:3)

The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help. (Psalms 34:15)

The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. (Psalms 34:17)